THINGS ELI HAS FORGOTTEN: How to walk. This is because Eli has a brain injury.
THINGS I HAVE FORGOTTEN: How to sleep. The word for scissors. What being cold feels like. This is because I am “pre-menopausal.”
THINGS MY HUSBAND HAS FORGOTTEN: Where he put his phone. Where he put the keys to Eli’s van. Where he put Eli. (Clue: Eli was in the van with the keys right before Pete locked them both inside.) This is because he is … “pre-elderly." (Except he’s always done stuff like this, so…)
THINGS MY OTHER THREE CHILDREN HAVE FORGOTTEN: How to close the basement refrigerator door…for two days. How to close the basement freezer door…for one week. How to turn the thermostat back up to 76 after they turned it down to 62 “just for a minute because I was hot.” (Only took six hours to notice the frost on the windows.) This is because they have brain damage. Brain damage is different from Eli’s brain injury. According to Bill Cosby, all children are born with brain damage. This is compounded by the fact that we have apparently taught them from an early age that money comes from Grandma and food is free.
When I was a new parent, I had visions of gathering my children around my tanned, flexible knees (It’s MY vision, ok?) and teaching them to be fiscally responsible citizens of the world.
I must have forgot.
