What I’ve Learned in College

  SIT AT THE FRONT OF THE CLASS.  I have had more than one professor say, “The A-students are always in the front row.”  THIS IS A CLUE.  When you sit in the front row, they remember you, they learn your name, and they can see your facial expressions and tell when you are confused or are struck with a brilliant idea.  When you sit in the front row, you cannot text on your phone, surf Facebook, or read the assignment for your next class, but if you’re doing those things, you’re not going to get an A anyway. 

FOLLOW DIRECTIONS.  I have seen plenty of students smarter than I get lesser grades because they couldn’t follow directions.  It always reminds me of the test like this they used to give somewhere along the way in grade school.  The first instruction would be to “READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE YOU BEGIN” and then there would be a complicated list of directions like, 

• 1.      Put your name in the top right corner 
• 2.      Draw 5 squares on the left side of test 
• 3.      Draw a heart after question #7, etc.

When you finally reach the bottom of the test, the last question says, “Now that you’ve read all the directions, only do #1.”  You can be so brilliant the sun shines out of your bum, but if you don’t use MLA format, or provide two examples, or submit it electronically before 11:59 p.m., you have basically told the professor that you didn’t really pay attention to what they wanted.  This hurts their feelings.  Hurt feelings give them the latitude to not pay attention to what YOU wanted…an A.

BUY BOOKS ONLINE.  Thanks to half.com and Amazon and a million other sites, you can almost always get your books cheaper online than in the bookstore.  Get the list of required books from the campus bookstore, then order them used online.  Secret Tip:  Amazon will give students a PRIME membership that gives you “unlimited fast shipping, such as FREE Two-Day shipping and One-day shipping for $3.99 per item on all eligible purchases” for FREE.  Normally, you would have to pay an annual membership fee of $79, but if you have a student email account (you know…ends in .edu) then the membership is FREE.  I said FREE.  Killer deal.  Do it.

WRITE IN YOUR BOOKS.  I’m all for electronic texts, and I have the complete works of Shakespeare, Milton and Austen on my iPhone, because books are HEAVY when you have to carry 15-20 of them around all day for back-to-back classes.   But I still buy a hard copy so I can write in them.  You just got them for next to nothing on Amazon, so write in them.  Highlight the important parts, make notes in the margins, draw lines here and there and go crazy.  It’s liberating,  and heaven knows five years from now (or in my case, 5 weeks) you aren’t going to remember why you thought that passage was so important without the yellow highlighter help.  

  

GO TO THE LIBRARY.  I have a lovely office at home.  It has my laptop and three printers and awesome speakers for my I-tunes and a comfy couch with warm quilts, and every time I try to work there, I either fall asleep or am joined by a throng of people within ten minutes of starting to study.  It has sound-proofy French doors that I close every chance I get, but they can still SEE me, and if they can SEE me, then they think it’s ok to interrupt me.  

GO TO THE LIBRARY.  The study carrels are uncomfortable, the air vents always manage to blow either hot or cold air directly on me (never season-appropriate air, either), the seats squeak and some nitwit usually has his laptop sound so loud that I can still hear it through his headphones, but when I study there, I am highly motivated to get done and get back home.   

ASK FOR EVERYTHING.  Always apply for scholarships – most people are too lazy to go through the process and you almost always get money.  There are scholarships for single mothers, and children of employees who work in upholstery (seriously) and for people going back to school after an absence of five years or more.  There is money for every kind of demographic you can imagine, and most universities have consolidated the application process so you only have to fill out one master application, and it serves for every scholarship you’re eligible for.  Ask for help with anything that causes you a problem.  If your paper-writing skills suck, ask for help at the Writing Center – they’re just sitting there waiting for someone to come in.  Need help with your resume?  Ask the Career Center.  Not very good with Excel or Word?  The Technology Center is your friend.  Your tuition and fees have already paid for all of those services and more, so ASK!

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT, BELIEVE THERE IS AN END IN SIGHT, BUT DO NOT BELIEVE your family when they tell you they will “support” you in this endeavor.  YOU interpret this support to mean they will, in cheerful Brady-Bunch style, pitch in and do laundry, cook dinner, clean house and acknowledge that writing deeply profound papers on “The Nature of Sermonic Language” requires more than ten minutes with a crayon and the back of an envelope while waiting on a child in the orthodontist’s office.  THEY interpret this support to mean they will ask how your test went before asking what’s for dinner. 

So tell me…what did YOU learn in school?