Hello? Hello? Can you hear me now?

I, like probably most everyone else, have something of a LOVE/HATE relationship with my phone.

I LOVE that I can take my favorite songs and make ringtones from them.  I love even more that I can then assign those ringtones to different people.  There is undoubtedly something deeply Freudian in my choices, and I would be embarrassed to tell you about some of them.  The most innocuous ones are currently “Everybody Needs Love” by the Drive-By Truckers, set to ring when my kids call me, and the default ring for most everyone else is Train’s song, “Save Me San Francisco.”  I mostly like it because the refrain goes,

                “I’ve been high and I’ve been low,

                I’ve been “Yes” and I’ve been “Oh, Hell No,”

                I’ve been Rock-n-Roll and Disco,

                Won’t you save me, San Francisco.” 

Who hasn’t had an “Oh, Hell No” day?  Plus, it’s catchy.   

There was a dark period when Springsteen’s “Trapped” and the theme song from Dexter alerted me to every new call, but eventually my natural optimism resurfaced enough for me to make Bare Naked Ladies’ “If I Had a Million Dollars” the ringtone for “Unknown Callers”…just in case it was someone wanting to give me a million dollars.

I HATE that the lock button is so tiny I often can’t even see it, let alone tell if it’s locked or not.  Not too big a deal unless it rings during church…or class….or any other guaranteed maximum embarrassment time.  

I LOVE that my calendar, my contacts, my books, my coupons, my notes, my music and my photos are on it. 

I HATE that I feel like I can’t exist without it.  

I LOVE that I can call my kids, text my kids and FaceTime my kids whenever I want.

And sometimes I HATE that they can do the same to me.

Yesterday was a perfect example:

Sawyer Call #1:   

               

Saw:                      “How do you make the alfredo sauce for tortellini?”

Me:                        “Mix up ½ c. butter, ½ c. cream, ½ cup parm. cheese, toss w/ hot pasta.”

Sawyer:                 “Ok.  Thanks, bye.

Sawyer Call #2:  

Saw:                      “Where do you find tortellini in the grocery store?”

Me:                        “Freezer section at Kroger.”

Saw:                      “We’re at Wal-Mart.”

Me:                        “I’m still thinking...freezer section.”

Sawyer Call #3:

Saw:                      “We’re at Kroger now.  What does it look like?

Me:                        “Blue bag.  Still in the freezer section.”

 

Maddy Text #1:

Pete Call #1:

Pete:  

“Are you aware that Hudson tried to take Eli downstairs (in his wheelchair) and Eli drove off the ramp and is now stuck in the mud and it’s raining?

Me:                 “Aggghhhhh……”      

       

Pete was calling from Florida and I was in Latin class.  I’m still not quite sure why Hudson thought it was a good idea to call his father, who was 500 miles away, instead of me, only 12 miles away,  but I bolted off campus, frantically driving like a NASCAR contender, while imagining Eli lying face-down in the back yard.  (It's happened before...)

I called Maddy, but she was at work.  She called her boyfriend B and he and a friend said they would run over and help (Thanks, B & F).  By the time I got there, a neighbor had already came to the rescue, even going the extra mile to hose off his wheelchair wheels so as to not track mud in the house.  Thanks, C & M!

Once the adrenaline surge left me, things settled back to our fake-normal status, until I began to get my nightly phone calls from Eli.      

Eli Call #1:            Mom…my feet are cold.

Eli Call #2:            Mom…can I have some aspirin?

Eli Call #3:            Mom…can I have some more coke?

And just when I think I'm at my wit's end and my head is about to spin,

Eli Call #4:            Mom…I love you.

 And so it goes….